Rutherford Birchard Hayes Auction

Long story short, my wife an I went to China in 1880, ran into a Creole man named Otis and a baby he was caring named baby Jesus. As I remember it we were in a clothing store in Fuzhou trying on clothes when we were approached by the man and baby who introduced themselves, then the baby pulled my wife closed to him and whispered something in her ear and stuffed something in her coat and handed me a hat painted like the United States flag. Then the man and baby were off and we never saw them again. After they left I asked my wife what the baby whispered to her and stuffed in her pocket, and she handed me a piece of paper with an address on it, and a pair of underwear that was painted like the United States flag, and said, “the baby will write you a letter in time, and so he did. I just received that letter in the mail today explaining that I must auction off the pair of underwear somewhere in some place where people gather, make a festive Chinese scene, wear the hat he gave me and with the money raised buy all the grapefruits I could and have them mailed to him to the address that he provided. My wife who is a very christen women believes to this day that, that was baby Jesus we ran into in China, which I believe otherwise, but regardless she told me if I don’t do as he asked she will devoice me and perhaps run off with a black man and move to Barbados. With that said I’m very happy to thank Tompkins Projects for letting me raise money to buy grapefruits so I can send them to a baby called baby Jesus

Sincerely
Rutherford Birchard Hayes
19th President Of the United States Of America